It's 3:30 in the morning and I feel sick from eating too much junk. Not like stomach ache sick but in the sense that I can feel the sugar coursing though my veins.
I'm tired but I'm afraid that if I try to sleep now it won't do any good. Last night I didn't sleep until 5:30 in the morning.
I know I should start by getting ready for bed. Wash off the minimal amount of makeup I'm wearing, change into my nightclothes, turn off the lights.
For some reason I...
and my thought process has trailed off. It just stops. I don't know how to explain it. I don't feel like trying to find it.
I had a mood-swing today. I'm tired of working midnight shifts, weather I'm working from 5 or from 6:15 or from 7:30. There is an almost unbearable loneliness. Or at least there suddenly was today. I was sad and lonely and wanting to go home and my brain glitched and I don't even know what to call what I did. I guess I got snarky. I'm tired of my brain not doing what it needs to do.
I didn't mean it. And sometimes I want to apologize, but I'm afraid that if I do, all I'll be told is "that's fine, but you should really work on your temper".
But I'm tired of that too. I'm tired of my family telling me that I've always had a temper, what else is new, you're acting like your aunt Karen, but there's nothing wrong with you.
I need help. I need tomorrow today just to get ahead (3 Doors Down) and I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does (Love Spit Love). And yes, sometimes I even get along with the voices inside of my head (Eminem Ft. Rihanna)
And I'm just adding lyrics now.
Whatever. I'm tired of this. I'm tired.
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