I think I'm Paranoid~

He still calls me Jamie-o

I had another weird dream with him in it. He was still a bit of a jerk, so at least that was accurate.
But then there was there was his cheek pressed to mine. Then his lips pressed to my cheek.
What the fuck?

I was fine most of the day. Sometimes I'd remember the dream. Fucking weird. But was distracted by work.
The last 15 minutes of my shift was... awkward.
(The word Awkward is awkward.)
He was walking around the store. Around the same general area of where I was doing re-shops.
My brain is a masochist.
(Try not to freak out)
Maybe he knew... something. I don't know.
(The lack of sleep has made me paranoid)
Maybe he was suspicious.
...
The nickname amuses me. Even if it is stupid.

Wrote this up months ago

So I've noticed lately that my posts haven't been as ADD as my mind usually is. The problem is that it's easier to focus when I can get my thoughts written out. It makes me seem more organized than I really am.

To give an idea of how my afternoon is... Well, I'm just gonna type this up

First I made the mistake of drinking my coffee with my breakfast instead of after breakfast. Now I'm lacking energy and don't feel like doing shit.
See, I've figured out that I work better if I eat breakfast, and then wait til I get tired to drink coffee. On some days that even means not getting any coffee. If I drink it when I'm not tired, it makes me sleepy instead of just giving me more energy.

But before the coffee started making me tired, I was doing great. Got my jeans in the wash, started looking up recipes for chicken (no ground beef today).
Then some how I ended up with multiple tabs open.
Cleared the ones I wasn't looking at. Confirmed that the use of xanthan gum in gluten free flour was a binding agent.
Now I have more tabs open. Pretty much decided on a recipe. Have all the stuff for it. Don't feel like cooking now.
More tabs!
Because despite having a recipe I want to use, I'm still looking at more.
I've had music playing and have to keep stop typing so that I can sing to it.
One site has links that look interesting, so Even More Tags!

My brain says coffee. My heart says "what the fuck is going on. Do we need to panic? Cuz we can panic!"
The neurotic little fucker. Ooh, spell check says I guessed out to spell neurotic right!


Days later and I'm looking at this again. Coffee is ok again, as long as I don't drink it just because. No anxiety from it anymore.

It's been a while

Suddenly started feeling anxious. Rocking back and forth seems to help.

I keep having random thoughts, and then be like "I should blog that" and later on totally forget what it was.

"You're a slut"
"Only for affection. Never for sex"

Not sure where that came from. Imaginary conversation I had in my head a few days ago. Thursday, actually. I was pulling tags.

Sometimes it seems like our customers got lobotomies before going shopping.

Lobotomies is a weird word.

Fuck you Pandora!
Not the woman, but the music player. It keeps trying to get me to listen to new music that doesn't even work with the playlist, then is all like "Sorry, no skips left"
Well I would have skips left if you played the music I've already liked motherfucker!




I think I'm addicted to dating sims. Despite the fact that most of the free ones suck. And some of them have really bad spelling/grammar.

Guilty pleasure. I lied to R and told her I only played them because they were ridiculous. I'm not sure she believed me. I'm not even sure she was listening.



I'm having this issue where I'm fighting sleep. I regret it in the morning when I have to wake up. I was hoping the Wellbutrin would help with this. Then again, I'm only taking 75 mg and haven't even been taking it for a week. I wish I didn't need so much sleep. I like being awake in the morning. I just hate waking up.