Priorities

It's 3:15 in the afternoon and I've been playing with my hair for the past 15 minutes. My hair is either clean or dirty, depending on the lighting, and I'm tired of trying to get the dry shampoo to work.
I'm tired.
I don't fall asleep until around six in the morning most nights. Usually I sleep until two, but my friend came over so I woke around 11:30. I don't know what time I fell asleep last night. Five something I'm sure.
I need a nap, but I need to wash my hair. I also need to sew up the hole in my apron. I want to finish a hat I was crocheting.
And there's more, I'm sure. But right now I feel the need to type this.
Because fuck priorities, I have A.D.D.

I've already waited too long and all my hope is gone~

I cried at work today. Over something stupid, I'm sure. I think it was a combination of frustration and stress and everything that's been going wrong long and short term. The four headaches in four different areas of my head didn't help.
I knew it would happen eventually. I'm thankful that it didn't happen during the day in front of customers.
I tried to stop it. I really did.
Even then, I didn't know for sure why I was crying. I couldn't even tell her that crying wasn't the emotion that should be happening because how do you explain to someone that the crying just kind of happens when it feels like it whether or not it has anything to do with the situation?

I need sleep and I'm tempted to call out tomorrow and the crying is trying to come back and who am I even typing for? No one is reading this shit! I don't even have any trolls on this fucking thing so what does it matter?
Nobody Cares

The worst part is that I know I need mental help and it's just never going to happen.

I am Human and I need to be Loved. Just like everybody else does~

I hate that I feel the need to explain myself to people.
I hate that I need to explain to them my need to explain myself.
And I hate that the people I feel the need to explain myself to are the ones who care the least.

"We'll get along much better as soon as you realize that my brain works differently than yours."

Sometimes My Mind Plays Tricks On Me ~

How do you explain to your mom that you don't like it when she takes naps because it feels like she's gone when she's asleep?
When I was younger, I didn't stop running to my parents' room at night because I stopped being afraid. It's because I'd decided that I was better off feeling afraid of the monsters than feeling alone with my parents.

I'm having more problems with my mind lately. I hallucinated yesterday at the store. I was putting an item back and I saw one of my coworkers about to cross my path and then she wasn't there. She didn't just turn a corner or something. She was never there.
This wasn't as intense as watching my nephew's aunt walk across our kitchen just to find out that she was home with a stomach virus, but it was... not startling, but mildly jolting. I don't know how to describe it.

I think I need to change my diet with how sluggish I'm feeling, but that would be impossible, so whatever. I don't even know.