When the fuck did this happen?

I never thought I'd have this problem. Seems like something that you'd see on one of those teenage shows on Disney or something.

The guy that I've gone on two dates with (K) seems totally into me, but we don't text much except for planning dates and really only talk on said dates.
The guy that I've been texting with (G) since he gave me his number at work makes me smile, even if it's only through texting. Just seeing that there's a message for me from him makes me happy.

I enjoy hanging out with both of them.
Too bad K seems to be interested in me as more than friends. Because I don't feel anything more towards him as a friend.
Too bad G seems interested in just friendship. Because I'm interested in something a little bit closer.

And then there's S (co-conspirator in customer service). Not because I'm interested, but because she thinks Spider likes me. "Like-likes you," is how she said it.
Well... What the fuck do I do with this information?
When she first said she thought he liked me I figured "Sure, why not? He can trust me to get things done, I volunteer to stay late to (help) finish re-shops, and he can actually talk to me about random crap not work related.
So yeah, sure, he likes me. Doesn't hurt that (for the most part) we've gotten past the psychological warfare.
Bonus points that I admitted to him that I understand why he gets so damn frustrated with some of us (had my own experience with another coworker)

Ugh, there was more, but my brain is going into safe mode.
I'll just leave one last thought before stopping:
I would be mortified if he ever found out about the dreams.

I lied. Two last thoughts. 2nd is: What's the line between dating someone to get to know them, and leading them on?
Because it would convenient if I started feeling more for the guy that obviously likes me.

I feel like I'm loosing my best friend. The sad thing is that I saw this coming upon moving in with her. Maybe when I move back out, we'll be ok again.
Even if we never stopped being ok, it feels like there's a distance between us.

fuck

Why? Why does this keep happening?


Satan, you know where I lie
Gently I go into that good night
All our lives get complicated
Search for pleasures overrated
Never armed our souls
For what the future would hold
When we were innocent

Angels, lend me your might
Forfeit all my lives
To get just one right
All those colors long since faded
All our smiles, confiscated
Never were we told
We'd be bought and sold
When we were innocent

This prayer is for me tonight
This far down that line
Still ain't got it right
And while confessions not yet stated
Our next sin is contemplated
Never did we know
What the future would hold
Or that we'd be bought and sold
We were innocent

Typing for procrastination.

Still fighting sleep.

Despite the fact that I have gone on a date and am doing it again tomorrow night, it doesn't feel like a date. Maybe because this is how we're getting to know each other. Maybe the word 'date' would mean something if we already knew each other. I'm not sure I'm into him.
Don't get me wrong. He's nice, and I enjoy talking to him, once we get past the awkward starting point. But I don't feel anything towards him. At all.
Maybe I'm too much of an introvert to form new relationships.
This shit takes effort.
I don't feel like going out tomorrow night. I just want to stay home and do nothing more than shower and fold laundry.

And it's supposed to be cold tomorrow night. This thing is outside.
The warmest thing I have is a light jacket.
Maybe I have something in my car? I wasn't exactly thing this far into the future when it came to packing.
I also thought I'd have easier access to my stuff.
Instead, it's kinda scattered.