There's going to be a dream somewhere.

I told myself that I was going to go upstairs and get ready for bed once I found a stopping point in Dandelion, but it's easier to find an excuse to stay where I am.

Have you ever known that someone wasn't into you that way, but had problems not reading into their actions?
Is it possible have a fondness (for lack of a better word) for someone without it being romantic?
How the fuck do emotions and feeling work?

It was sweet, though. It was the first flower I'd gotten for Valentine's Day that wasn't from my dad.
Don't get the wrong idea. It was a single yellow carnation (btw, incase you wanted some random useless information, yellow roses mean friendship), but it was a flower. I love flowers.
Didn't matter that it was because "I can't think of any worse person to be stuck with on Valentine's Day".
If I hadn't been working, I would have been alone. Besides, he isn't as horrible as he thinks he is. At least, not all the time.
I think it was also a thank you for giving him a ride home.

There was also the time he walked me to my car, held my hand when we got closer to my car so I wouldn't slip on the ice, and then helped chip the ice off my windshields, even though I'd told him I'd be fine while my car defrosted.
Not that that was anything to read into. That was just really nice of him.

But then there's the small things.
The way he acts when most of the other coworkers have left.
He can be pretty goofy sometimes.
He also let me grab some of his nachos. Mmm, nachos.
"He'd never share his food with me,"... "I guess we know who his favorite(s) is(are)" Or something like that. And that made me special.
Bitch, please. I was always special.
I guess this makes me more special.
Special.
That's a weird word now.

Oddly enough, when I start getting too attached or something, He ends up doing something that really pisses me off. It's like he has the Shining, and he knows he has to push me back before I get too weird or something.
But right now, it's comfortable. We get along, and it's the closest I've gotten to a routine. As long as nothing is too different, I know what's expected of me. I know what needs to be done.
Now if only he'd stop trying to correct me on things I'm not wrong about.


On a random note, I saw this good looking guy at work. Kinda reminded me of DiNozzo from NCIS. But I've also seen a guy that looked like Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds on Metro, so it really doesn't mean anything. You see a lot of people look like a lot of other people when you have face blindness.

If I go crazy than will you still call me Superman?~

Dude. Spider (because I still haven't come up with a better name for him)Is the only person in the whole world who calls me Jamie-o.
Stupid nickname? Yes. But he's the only one who's given me a nickname that isn't James.
It's kinda pathetic on my end. Even if I wanted to be interested, I can't.
I'm still getting used to the idea that I can have a guy friend without automatically having a crush on him. It's weird. I'm weird. I'm having a really weird time trying to explain this, and the more I try, the weirder it gets.

Had a moment at work today. I didn't loose those keys. I either hook them on my apron or I place them on a counter. I know damn well that I put them on that podium. I know because I remember my thought process. That the girl would need the keys, but she wouldn't hold on to them. So I put them where she'd placed them before. On the podium.
So how did they end up under the counter at the front desk?
Sure, I'd been behind the counter plenty of times, but we have cigarette keys back there, so I didn't need a set. Even if I'd had them and taken them off my apron, I would have put them on  the counter, not under it.
Maybe I'm haunted. Not the first weird thing to happen to me. I could deal with a haunting better than schizophrenia. At least if I was haunted, I'd still have my mind intact.

And that weird shit the other post? With the shit running along the walls and ceiling? Hasn't happened again since. I told L, but I don't think they did anything about it. I'm sure she would have told me if someone had been down to check for pests. Things would have been moved.
I haven't seen Henry around either, for that matter.

Now where the fuck did I put that car title?

I'm sleepy. Fell asleep around 5:30 in the morning. Got woken up around 10 or so.
We're also housing our neighbor's dog for the week while she and her son are gone. I have two cats. Both parties were growling. I had to walk one cat down to my room, stubborn old man.
Now they are sleeping
I should probably take a nap before work.
My stomach is kinda crampy. Too many peanuts last night or do I need to eat?
TMI and I don't care!
It's also freezing!
!!!!
!! kinda looks like a bunny...

"You know when you look back at your childhood and ask yourself  'how sure am I that I wasn't retarded?  I'm pretty sure, right?  Holy shit, was I retarded?'   That happened to me today and I'm pretty sure that the answer is 'yes.'" ~ Hyperbole and a Half
To read the entire entry, click here.

I would just like to say thank you to Allie. You have, more or less, summarized how I feel about my childhood.

 

WTZZzzzz...

I haven't been falling asleep until anywhere between 4 and 6 in the morning. Shitty sleep schedule and whatever.
My friend R lives in Alexandria, but commutes to the college by my house. When there are events late at the college, she'll spend the night so that she doesn't have to make a 40 min trip just to drive back in the morning.
There's a point to all this.
So last night we went to watch a movie for her German class "the lives of others" or something.
Now, R, being the 'normal' person she is, can fall asleep by 2, no prob.
I had to take 2mg of melatonin to fall asleep. I hadn't woken up until 2 that afternoon.
So I wake up around 9 to see her out and watch a few episodes of Criminal Minds, take an uncomfortable something hour nap.
I don't even know anymore.
Ran a bit late to work. A few annoying customers.
For some reason I was feeling really stressed. Almost had an anxiety attack. Almost broke down crying. Thank god Spider wasn't there. Feel like shit all day. Yay for going home on time!
Come home after 5 hour shift of stress and whatever. No food -_- really? There's a bloody grocery list and (my) money to pay for it! Why do we have no food? There are two fucking people at the house with no jobs and all the time!
Tired, don't feel like typing much more + ADD.
Didn't get dinner til 1/2 past midnight.
There were plenty of reasons to call it a bad day. Oddly enough I didn't consider it bad.
Who knows? Filler post? There was a point but I got caught up explaining my stupid sleep.
Now to finish that one CM episode.
Agent Studly!